On a lighter note, one of the ways the minister lightens the pressure of routine while at work is his jokes. Many of them are anecdotal, recalling experiences gathered over the last 67 years.
After graduation, the young Alake was deployed to Benin for his National Youth Service Scheme. On one occasion, he teamed up with his friends to attend a party in Port Harcourt. They arrived the park to board a vehicle and were searching when a tout approached and offered to board them on a saloon car a few metres away. He told them the fare and each of them paid, then he said he was going to call the driver. More than an hour later, they were still expecting the tout when one of the men in the garage asked what they were waiting for. When they showed him the car they were hoping to board and that they were expecting the driver, he opened the bonnet for them. The car had no engine! It was parked there, apparently awaiting repairs. The morale, despite their degrees, a common tout had taught them the difference between street sense and akada sense!
Those who are close to the Minister are aware of his love for pounded yam. Pounded yam is the favourite of the Ekiti people, a culture he wears like a badge. But only a few know that his demand for this delicacy, served with the “asepo” version of vegetable and okro, defies territorial limitations. On a recent trip to New York, this matter of pounded yam came up again, and the only available place was in downtown Harlem. Now, Harlem has never been a place for the faint-hearted. On the way to meet the meal, the minister recalled how he had to pass through Harlem to keep an appointment, over 20 years ago. The taxi ran into a bumper to bumper movement. Thinking that he was close to his destination, Alake stepped out to complete the rest by foot. When he asked a man how really close he was, he could hardly hear what he said. What was left of the man’s nicotine stained set of teeth was incoherent ramble. Applying a perception trip to look as tough and rough as the boys in the hood, he said he kept his hand under his jacket, his ankle at an angle that suggested he was ready to pull a gun at any moment. With his chest out, he swaggered down the street like a formidable foe. But, as he encountered more and more marijuana-blowing, bodily pierced, scarred faces of the underworld, even his false gait was not enough to assure him the required confidence. He was due to return to Nigeria the next day, if any of the boys squared up to him there, he didn’t know what would happen. He started to pray. But even prayer had to be assisted with works. On sighting a cab, he waved it down and entered. Less than two minutes later, the cab pulled up. He had actually walked much of the distance and was just two blocks away from his destination!
A few of the stories were encounters with his wife and life partner, Mummy Sumbo Alake. In Egypt, on a government business, he called madam to let her know he would be touring the ancient pyramids. An avid reader of Arthur Lewis, his love of history directed his curiosity to the Egyptian mummies. A Christian prayer warrior, his wife teased him that she hoped he was not going to bow to the gods of the pyramids and warned him to be careful. Asserting his masculine confidence, Alake allayed her fears, saying he was more than capable to pull the feat.
Anyway, Dr Alake proceeded on the journey and arrived the pyramids, obtained the services of a tourist guide, and joined a group. The pyramids were structured in low corridors that required tourists to crouch and crawl their way to where the mummies were. But midway, he started to feel an eerie sensation, it was as if something in him was going to give way. He decided to crawl back and as soon as he emerged from the hole, he lost consciousness. He resumed consciousness, minutes later and returned to the hotel. Well, it wasn’t necessary to tell madam that he didn’t carry out his threat!
Stories like these keep the minister’s audiences laughing, almost cracking their ribs between taking and executing assignments. Many visitors are reluctant to leave him after listening to his jokes. With the Honourable Minister, there are no dull moments. As he marks the date of his birth with mirth, it is fit to pray that may his jokes never dry.
